Dear Journal;
by I-Love-Electric-Guitar
Summary: Excerpts from Rory's journal, starting the day she dumps Dean b/c he's just so all-american boy. Rory is surveying boys to see if they are right for her...How come Jess seems to be continually passing the test with flying colors? R/J and L/L romance.
1. How does one begin a journal entry?

Dear Journal:  
How do you start a journal? Do you say "Hey journal? How was your day?" Not that a journal has any real day, no tasks, no work, just guarding your deepest darkest secrets (if you have any) in it's slowly yellowing pages. Or perhaps does one name their journal? Should it be Kate? Minki? Moo-Moo? Would one name a journal as though they were naming a cat or a friend? Of course why have a journal and a cat? If you have a cat you can simply tell him everything your feeling and he'll never tell. Of course your cat may smell a little funky and it costs more, but he advantage of not having writer's-wrist is a total plus.  
Well, journal how was your day? Did mom discover you and read you? Of course not that it matters I tell her everything anyway. Plus she wouldn't read much since I've never written in this...you, before.  
I had an awful/freeing day...I broke up with Dean. Yeah yeah I know "We were sooooo cute together!" and "He's such a babe!" and of course it's all true. Dean's a great guy, but he's so...all-american boy. I wanna go to Harvard, and this may sound a little too Legally Blonde, but I really do need someone serious. Well maybe not serious but at least my intellectual equal.   
Here's the just, after school I swung by Luke's to get a snack. Anyway as I was eating my incredibly fattening brownie and reading the recently discovered/published Louisa Mae Alcott book. Jess came over and seemed interested in what I was reading. "You do know the story of that transcript right, Rory?" he asked peering over my shoulder. "Not really, but I have a feeling you do." I said. Jess shrugged, "That manuscript was found about 30 years by the people who ran her house as a musuem, it'd been there for years, tucked away in a drawer they had thought had never opened, they were going to publish it when they realized the ending was missing so they gave it up for never being finished. Then 7 years ago they found the last chapter stuck in the back of Alcott's Bible."  
he said. "So they published it?" I asked. "No they didn't Rory, you're only reading a fake manuscript." Jess said sarcastically, then he strod off to give Luke a hand fixing something.  
Now let's face it, how many bad boys, military-school-rejects, know about Louisa Mae? Dean still thinks she was just a movie writer for Little Women. I watched Jess work, he's really tall and for some reason incredibly graceful. He probably has an amazing smile, though he never lets anyone see it. He doesn't really resemble Luke, but they both have the same charmingly-crotchety aura about them. They both act like grumpy old men with bad ulcers but have an adorably sweet side that always shines through. Tough luck for them, going through life trying to pretend to be unbreakable. Somehow I think Jess has been broken more than once.  
  
Well anyway yeah I after Jess disappeared Dean came in. "Rory there you are!!" "Hey Dean!" I said, closing my book. "I figured you'd be here." he said kissing my forehead. "Well, I'm glad you're here. I have a survey to do." I said, opening my notebook. The assignment is to survey two guys and compare their answers to those taken of two girls. Of course Dean would be a good guy to survey. Well here's his answers:  
  
Favorite Book: "If I don't say the Bible my mom will be mad, but other than that I liked this biography I read once of Dennis Byrd."  
  
Favorite Poem: "I don't like poetry, but I think that if music counts Toya's songs are really poetic."  
  
Pro-Choice/Pro-Life: Pro-Choice.  
Why: The whole my body my choice thing, I dunno  
  
Career Objective: Doctor, Lawyer something with big bucks.  
  
Who's you're idol: I worship Britney Spears, but other than that Shaq  
  
Rap Y/N: Yeah sure why not?  
  
Could you view yourself married: "Of course I'll marry."  
Will your wife have a career: "Maybe part-time"  
  
That was when I lost it, there wre a few more questions but I was starting to get queasy. I mean c'mon DENNIS BYRD?? SHAQ?? Sure he's not 45 and he isn't totally accertive, but I'm sure that all guys my age aren't this...basic. So to check my theory I surveyed Jess.  
  
Favorite Book: "The Giver" or "Alaska"   
  
Favorite Poem: "I'm an Edgar Allen Poe fan."  
  
Pro-Choice/Pro-Life: Pro-Life  
Why: Why would you kill a baby? A) You got pregnant too young, which if your too young to have a baby you're too young to be having sex or B) You're child has severe birth defects which is not a good reason to kill it  
  
Career Objective: Reporter, English Major, or an Airline Pilot  
  
Who's you're idol: Ernest Hemmingway and Langston Hughes  
  
Rap Y/N: Tupac yes, Ice Cube yes, everyone else no  
  
Could you view yourself married: doubt it  
Will your wife have a career: If I marry, she can do whatever she wants except cheat on me.  
  
Okay is it just me or are Jess's answers a little more intelligible? Actually I took the answers and compared them with the statistic GPA markings thing. Dean was classified as a high-schooler, Jess was a college graduate. I know the answers sound bogus, but they decide how mature and future-ready you are.  
  
After I got the results I broke up with Dean, I may be a little harsh but I'm not going to settle for that. Dean seemed upset, but he'll get over it. He thought it was because of Tristan.  
  
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1  
I mean sure he's cute and all, but you cannot just be as dumb as Tristan and expect yourself to be attractive! He's sooo into himself...and me. Poor Paris, she isn't over him. Paris deserves better, even if she does hate me she's gonna be something someday, and that alone gives her validation to a little credit of deservability. Basically she's got so much potential she deserves better than "I'm king of everything" Tristan. Even if Paris thinks she is a princess the only thing she really has control of in her life is...well...everything.  
  
So basically that's my day, Dean and I broke up. I don't want him back nononononono! but I know what I want, a smart, Chilton senior who's on his way to Penn State or Yale. Or maybe a Harvard freshmen? Who knows but my next boy-toy has to have major recommendations!  
  
How does one close a journal entry? Does one simply draw a line to signify the end of an entry? Do you tuck it away on a shelf like you tuck a child into bed at night? Kiss it and sing it too sleep? Gosh I'm beginning to think a cat would be a better fitting confidant for me.  
Farewell dear journal, guard my one-entry of deep dark angsty secrets for me!  
--Rory Gilmore-- 


	2. Big Brown Eyes and Nice Hair

Dear Journal:  
Mom thinks I'm nuts. She says I should never have broken up with Dean b/c he's cute. Mom-mom-mom, always going for the cute boys. I wonder every day who the real mother is. She and I talked about it for an hour and then we went to Luke's for dinner. Luke and Loreli were their usual adorable selves.  
  
"Luke gimme a coffee and a cheese burger!"  
"It's after dark if I give you coffee you'll be awake all night" Luke protested.  
"No Luke coffee is life blood to me!" Lorlei cried.  
"Fine ruin your sleeping habits" Luke shrugged getting her a cup of coffee  
"I see your in a good mood Luke" Lorlei laughed  
"Yes and it's all your fault."  
"Well it's all your fault that I put you in a good mood."  
"How is it my fault?"  
  
We all know Mom and Luke deserve each other. While they were bantering I went and struck up a conversation with Jess.  
"Jess my buddy!"  
"Little cheery today Rory?"  
"Yup!"  
"Why may I ask?"  
"Let's see I dumped my undeserving boyfriend and..."  
"You dumped Mr.Greasy hair?"  
"If you mean Dean yes."  
"Why?"  
"He and I weren't right for each other."  
"And who is right for you?"  
"I dunno" Who really is right for me?  
"So find out"  
"How do I pick Mr.Right? There's hundreds of guys in the world...45 in Stars Hollow alone."  
"I dunno take surveys?"  
"You're joking."  
"Yeah no kidding, actually I take surveys all the time."  
"And the deciding question is?"  
"What kinda underwear are you wearing?"  
"Should I answer that?"  
"Nah but you can leave me a tip anyway."  
"Why?"  
"No idea."  
  
Jess left then and I began to pick at my dinner, that's when I found you in my backpack. So here I am now writing in you at Luke's while picking at my dinner. Do you think Jess has a point about the surveys? It sounds bogus, actually it sounds like something mom would do, lol. But what do I ask? What'd you get on your PSAT's? Do you take drugs? After all all I really want is someone who's my intellectual equal who's not a dork, a slob, or a stuck-up brat (cough-Tristan-hack-bark-achew!). And of course he can't be totally revolting...And brown eyes are a plus! Big brown eyes, kinda like Usher, but on a white guy, no offense to african-americans. If possible, a little bit of thick hair wouldn't be bad, like Dean's hair. Those buzz-cuts and shaved heads slathered in gel are so not attractive! I wonder who lives in Star's Hollow who's like that?  
  
  
OMG! Major close one! Jess was just looking over my shoulder. I don't think he saw anything, but then again what if he4 did? It's not like everything in here I didn't just tell him. But I did just notice one thing...Jess has big brown eyes and nice hair...But then again...he's just Jess...Right? Okay Mom's ready to go, even though she and Luke are still giving each other this gooey look of adoration. God, they really need to hook up! TTYL 


	3. "Sorry Jess I'm working," "So am I"

Dear Journal;   
  
Believe it or not Paris was actually kinda sorry for me when I told her I broke up with Dean, not that she really has met him. Paris has a nice side to her, but she also has a competitive edge. Maybe that competitive edge is what keeps us from killing each other. If I kill her who's left to compete with and vice-versa. Well...hmmm what's to say about today?  
__  
Okay actually there is something to say, I walked into Luke's today to pick up a coffee for mom, and then Jess sat down across from me. I told him I was working and he said so was he so he'd make it short. Then he slipped me a slip of paper and then he sauntered off It read:  
  
Dear Class of 2003;  
Yes it's that time of year again, home-coming. Our dance this year will be on October 19, 2002. Be sure to bring someone special...blah-blah-blah...I didn't realy read all of it. On the bottom Jess had scribbled.   
  
Please go with me, I don't have any other friends to ask.-Jess  
  
I read it over and over again and then I started to feel bad for him. A guy as good looking as Jess should...Wait did I just say good-looking? Well anyway anyone should be able to make friends...Poor Jess. I think I'll go, I just hope Dean's not there... 


End file.
